


Sitting Pretty In My Brand New Scars

by orphan_account



Category: Olympics RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: Beards (Relationships), Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Post-Break Up, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:35:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael chooses his career over Ryan. Ryan ends up better for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sitting Pretty In My Brand New Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Hallelujah" by Panic! at the Disco.

* * *

Ryan should’ve expected it, really. He should have acknowledged that something like this would happen eventually. Michael was too much of a pussy to stand up and be a man. Well, a man who loves other men at least. So, instead of him and Ryan living happily ever after in homosexual bliss, Michael goes and puts a ring on some girl’s finger. Suddenly Ryan has to learn how to live a totally different life.

A life that doesn’t include Michael.

It’ll be a fucking miracle if Ryan can manage to make toast without burning his goddamn house down.

\--

Michael does it because he’s scared. He feels it all slipping through his fingers and Bob’s voice is in his ear telling him to either get his shit together or kiss Rio goodbye. Michael does the only thing he knows how to do. Cover up one piece of gossip with another, trades in a DUI sex scandal for a reformed romantic winter engagement. He picks Nicole because his mom likes her and she’s a decent fuck and she’s basically just _there_ , ya know? A convenient pair of ovaries when he just so happens to need one.

So he gets sober, proposes, and gets his ass back in the pool. Michael knows he’s screwing over his oldest and closest friend who just so happens to be his lover, but he doesn’t care. It’s not about love anymore. It’s about reputation and survival and gold medals. It’s about his legacy and if a lifetime in the closet is the price he has to pay for glory then Michael will pay it.

It’ll be a fucking miracle if everyone comes out of this thing unscathed but it’s a miracle Michael prays for nonetheless.

\--

Ryan doesn’t burn down his house. He comes close a few times but eventually he gets used to things. He throws himself into training and gets, like, a shit-ton of hobbies to take his mind off of Michael. He gets a Pinterest account and starts DIY-ing the fuck out of everything.

First he builds a new doghouse for Carter and then up-cycles some old wicker furniture for his back patio. He learns to knit and paint and even buys a sewing machine so he can turn a bunch of his old t-shirts into a quilt. Ryan gets made fun of by Cullen and some of the other guys but he doesn’t mind because now he knows how to make his own candles and turn old mason jars into about a million different things.

Ryan also starts taking better care of himself outside of the pool. He treats himself to dinner at the latest culinary hotspots, splurges on vintage clothes when he feels like it, and takes bubble baths whenever he wants. (Michael used to hate that, said that bubble baths were _‘faggy.’_ ) Ryan gets front row seats for whatever band comes to town and frequents the Cineplex often enough to know the name of the girl who works the snack counter on Friday nights. He even takes a solo vacation to San Francisco and attends **PRIDE** for the first time. He goes all out for the event; face and body paint plus his bright pink Speedo and a gigantic rainbow flag he wears like a cape. It gives him a feeling of freedom he’s never had before and he finds himself dancing as he walks with the other parade goers, kissing people he doesn’t know and laughing out loud.

The one thing he doesn’t do is date.

He’s still bitter over Michael and he doesn’t want to push that shit on someone else; it just wouldn’t be fair. Ryan knows he has needs but in the end it’s easier to just satisfy them privately rather than going on a bed-hopping spree the way he used to. That’s something else that’s come out of all this: Ryan’s sense of empathy has grown leaps and bounds beyond what it used to be. He used to be a player. Now he’s not. He didn’t realize the damage he was doing until he was the one getting played. Ryan supposes that is something he should thank Michael for. Losing Michael taught Ryan how to be a better person.

And Ryan knows that after experiencing all of this he’ll never go back.

\--

Michael doesn’t get his miracle.

No.

What Michael gets is a finicky fiancé who just wants to spend his money, an all-knowing mother who looks at him with disappointment in her eyes, and a coach that works him harder than ever. It’s like the universe is against him or something. Nicole refuses to sleep with him until their wedding night despite the fact they’ve fucked several times in the past. She says waiting will make it more special. Michael spends most of his days walking around with blue balls and for some reason all his usual fuck buddies have better things to do than answer his texts. His times in the pool are suffering and even he has to admit to the press that he’s doing horribly. Rio hangs over his head like the blade of a guillotine and every time Michael closes his eyes he sees nothing but Ryan’s smile.

Through it all Michael wishes one thing; he wishes he could take it all back.


End file.
